One of the biggest things about Jack's diagnosis is trying to learn about what triggers a meltdown. He views the world differently that you or I do. He processes things differently. Although we're trying to figure out what sets him off, we're still learning.
On Sunday we went to the Mall. We put him in the stroller and gave him his iPad with Alvin playing. He was pretty okay until we got to Children's Place. There were a lot of colors and people and it was probably very overwhelming to him. We're also discovering that something about Christmas music bothers him. I'm not sure if its the bells or the time signature or something else but he covers his ears and usually starts crying at most Christmas songs, which of course, is blaring everywhere. Anyway, we finish at Children's Place and my Dad and I take them to Dairy Queen to get a small cup of ice cream to share for being so good and so patient. This is where it went downhill.
The only place to sit down was directly across from a ride on rocket thing and Jack had to ride it. Seriously. He had to ride it. Once he decides on something, he can't get over it. His brain doesn't work like that. He can't just be distracted with ice cream or iPads. He had to have the rocket. While my Dad and I were digging for change for the rocket and Jack was screaming there was a group of teenagers standing about 5 feet from us. Almost immediately after he started screaming and pointing, the looks started. The glaring. Then the pointing. I took him over and put him in the rocket. He got to ride and got excited until the music started and it was loud. He covered his ears and cried a little but still really enjoyed it. After his ride we went back over to the bench and he sat for a minute and he was fine until he decided he wanted to ride the rocket again. I tried to get him to watch Alvin. Nope. Ice Cream? Nope. Lollipop? Nope. Had to be the rocket. Dad was feeding Daphne some ice cream and I hear Teenager #1 say "If MY kid acted like that, I'd never leave my fucking house." My heart sank. He wasn't being bad. He wasn't being spoiled. He just wanted the rocket. I picked him up and took him over to let him sit in it. He was fine just sitting in it. He sat for a few minutes and pushed buttons and laughed until another little girl came over and wanted to ride it so I took him out and we went over to the bench. He started crying and pointing again and at that point I decided that it was time for us to go anyway. My Dad had started pushing Daphne to the door and I was trying to get Jack together and calm him down, the mother of the little girl from the rocket comes over to me and says "You just need to take him outside and beat his ass." I just picked my little guy up and left.
He has Autism. Is that an excuse for every single meltdown or tantrum? NO! Is that an excuse to let him act any way he wants and to never discipline him? NO!
I really thought this entry would be a bit more cohesive. I guess the point is, when you see a kid throwing a fit somewhere, before you judge, take a split second and wonder if there's an underlying issue. Maybe that kid is Autistic like Jack and literally can't understand why he can't have something he wants. Maybe that kid's parents are going through a nasty divorce and he's caught in the middle. There are a million and a half "maybes" that could cause a meltdown in public. Before you judge and especially before you SAY anything in earshot or directly TO the parent, THINK before you speak.
I'll step down off my soapbox now.
